So on this episode of MisterJacque, something not so good happened. I was denied what I knew was rightfully mine, by a colleague and my request for an explanation to be given fell on deaf ears. I took offence, I didn’t see it coming. I’ve always had a good relationship with this person.
My ego was hurt, it was hard to remove myself from the equation. A few days later I’ll realise that I’ll have to let go of this hurt, it’s causing more harm than good, a part of me wants to hold onto it and just not talk to the person anymore but yet another part doesn’t want to keep anybody locked up here, the part of me that had been set free was eager to set this person free. I’ll pray for a while and all I’ll hear God talk to me about is forgiveness.
This would be a very difficult moment for me, Doing what needed to be done was easy for me, but this time was different, God won’t let me go on like this. Slowly, I mean slowly…… my pride gave way and I yielded and I’ll love to share a few things I learnt through this happening.
“Time heals all wounds”.
This is arguably One of the greatest lies ever told. Physical or bodily wounds heal because of an involuntary response of the body’s immune system, so what we thought was just ‘time’, was a lot of work our immune systems carried out without our permission. Emotional wounds and hurt people inflict on us don’t have this involutary response, If we’ll heal; If we’ll move on from them; we’ll have to come to terms with the fact that we’ve been hurt and seek treatment one of which is forgiveness.
More often than not, what we have mistaken for forgiveness is the passage of time, So we’re offended and we think we’ve forgiven the people when the only thing that happened was that time passed. How you know that time only passed and you didn’t forgive that person is by checking the first thing(s) you remember when they walk in the room, or when you see their car or something that reminds you of them. If what came to your mind first was the wrong done, you’re yet to forgive that person for that wrong done.
Sometimes in letting go of hurt it helps to make excuses for people, many times people don’t intentionally hurt people. Our Ignorance, careless talk, neglect, etc have hurt people without our being intentional about hurting them. Making excuses for people can help us let go of hurt done to us. Don’t mistaken this for living in denial, Sometimes they didn’t intend to hurt you. Sometimes we’re collateral damage in bigger battles, and or struggles people are fighting themselves, life doesn’t treat us all equally. Many times it’ll help to assume they didn’t mean to hurt us, while telling such person(s) that they really did hurt us, and how they hurt us would help us move on. Exhale, Its healthy.
All your sins are forgiven
As Christians we don’t just forgive because we have to, we forgive because It’s in our gene. We forgive much because our father forgives endlessly, and eternally. It’s proof that he is our father and we’re his sons. We were forgiven even when we were unrepentant about our transgressions, In the larger scheme of things its so we can forgive the unrepentant offender.
We forgive because Jesus died for that sin too, and if the father doesn’t hold this against the offender, It’s not acting in his nature to hold it against them. I hate to sound this blunt but If we truly believe Christ died for all sins, we are to forgive every transgression. EVERY TRANSGRESSION.
What better way to let men know that our father forgives than to show the forgiveness he gave you to them. Forgive them, Let them go. No one deserves to live rent-free in your heart.
That being said, by all means avoid offence, in love and wisdom make sure people who offend you know that they hurt you and how they hurt you, especially when there is a tendency for the episode to repeat itself.
I’ll love to hear how you’ve forgiven people their offences, and how you’ve dealt with offences. Thanks for stopping by.