Over familiarity, also called ‘see finish‘ in Nigerian pidgin English, is a state in a relationship where one or both parties lose the awe, reverence or spark they had for one another that made them either desire the person’s friendship or become involved in the first place. See finish isn’t reserved for some kind of relationship it happens to casual friends, people in intimate relationships, co-workers, boss-subordinate relationship, pastor- member relationship, you name it.
While there are situations where people have paraded themselves as one thing and upon closer contact they were discovered to be a far cry from the front they put up that attracted others, there have been more cases of people being granted access or a right hand of fellowship, abusing or trivializing such gestures with time. Usually, as the end they envisioned had materialised or they see that the person wasn’t as flawless as they thought.
I won’t even distance myself over-familiarity or from those who have seen some people finish, I have seen over-familiarity come between myself and few people, some of which was from my end and some others were from theirs, i can say that it takes a deliberate and conscious effort not to trivialize relationships when they have either met their immediate end or when these men haven’t met up to our supposed prestigious expectation we had when we first met them.
Jesus of Nazareth enters the very place he lived from the time he and his parents arrive from their sojourn to Egypt for safety, and the residents realise that the acclaimed teacher, healer, and miracle worker was one who they knew, and in that moment familiarity, or see finish ensures they don’t have faith in him and his ability. He eventually heals a few as his mercy will always trump our unbelief, but it is on record that he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.
A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.
Recently a friend had to learn this the hard way, i foresaw a need he would have and told him how to go about it, probably in overfamiliarity, he neglected my advice and is chasing the same opportunity now that i cant do much to help him. There isn’t much we can do about people becoming over-familiar with us, most of the time it’s on them not on us, but there is much we can do to avoid seeing people finish.
People are all we’ve got
One is to realise that people are all we’ve got, I know you’ll want to tell yourself this isn’t true and you’ve got yourself to rely on, or God. I am assuming you follow my writings, or you would begin to from now on; you’ll realise that I am a person of faith, but even God at the peak of his love and might had to become, or use a person to express his thoughts, and the weight of his love and power.
You grow too familiar with or look down on another human to your own peril. People represent knowledge that we can tap into as every man has an experience you haven’t had and can benefit from, people represent opportunities, for business opportunities to job opportunities we all know these things are either created or necessitated by humans. People represent companionship, one can’t keep warm alone, and I mean this figuratively (😂). Iron doesn’t sharpen itself, another iron sharpens iron, our point of view is limited; at best it would remain our point of view, we increase our relevance when we can see things from others point of view, and this only happens when we rub minds with others.
I find an excuse to assume that every person is a better person when I meet them from the last time we met. I assume they’ve met more people, read more books, worked on more projects, heard more from God, or at least for those who seem not interested in personal growth had an experience; pleasant or unpleasant; I can learn from and become a better person, in a nutshell, with time people become even more valuable than you think. You see people finish to your own peril.
How about intimate relationships?
See finish also happens in intimate relationships, I have realised one of the person we quickly get overfamiliar with is a significant other, (don’t ask me how i know this too 😂😂) and although the line of thought in the previous paragraph also applies it would help if I’ll say this. You can know when see finish is creeping in when two people genuinely want to talk but feel they’ve exhausted things to talk about, There is so much to talk about between two humans that they can talk for a century. The escape route from that quagmire is taking off the pressure off having to speak. Who says you can’t just sit and say nothing? Usually how relationships get here is when one person does all the asking of questions or all the talking. Speaking is overrated; it can be put on hold while two people just savour each other’s company.
As for the little we can do for those who have become over-familiar with us, we keep seeing them as more valuable than they used to be, and hope they return the favour. You could as well share the link to this blog post with them, who knows? You might be helping them. Thanks for reading, feel free to like, share and most importantly drop your comments.