Everybody knows what to do when friends are not in a good place. We pray and visit sick friends, we used to send “Get well soon” greeting cards, we send our condolences in person or absentia and or try to rally resources to support grieving friends especially in climes like ours where the cost of buring the dead is a source of extra grief; we show up to the funeral to show solidarity.
We send financial support to friends who need assistance upon request, searching for job vacancies for those who are qualified and willing to engage in gainful employment. The list goes on and on; and if you don’t currently do these you should, it’s what friends are for.
Not many people know how to be friends to people in good times. It’s a true saying that, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” But statements like this don’t cover friendships that haven’t been long enough to experience seasons of “need”, how do I be friends with someone in between those seasons of need.
We’ve had friends who haven’t needed our, “Sorry”, or “get well soon”, in ten years, or from whom we have never heard, “Abeg find me 50k, I’ll refund at the end of the month”. There is little knowledge out there on how to be true friends to those who aren’t in need.
Make requests without entitlements
That a friend is in a seemingly good place doesn’t mean they and their immediate family don’t have needs, wants, and unfilfilled aspirations. Many of them aren’t even doing as good as you think, they have just mastered contentment and gratitude; which, if i might add, you should learn from them.
Honour their invitations
Treat their invitations to birthday parties the way you would their burial ceremony. It’s in people’s life time we pay them their respects, all we do at funerals is assuage the grief and regret that comes with not keeping in touch for a long time. The honour people see and remember for a lifetime is remembering and making out time to celebrate them their milestones and their wins.
From a point of view, we all have inate needs. Some might not be seeming emergencies, but are necessary for progress. There is a need for growth on personal, career, family, and business levels. Do well to mention their names in rooms where opportunities that fit their competence and scale show up. People never forget that you remember them.
Pray for them; that the peace in the palaces and prosperity within their walls remain. Remember them in your prayers.
Hope this helped.
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