It’s the 2019 edition of The last 365, It’s always my pleasure sharing my experiences with you, my gleanings from the last 365 days. A lot happened, a whole lot, one blog post won’t suffice to teach all i learnt, but here are the headlines. Happy birthday to me.😍😂🎂🎁🎀
PS. You can get the first episode here.
Nobody forgot you:
Not everybody forgot you, don’t walk around guilting people of what you both should share responsibilities for. I had friends I would never believe I don’t talk to regularly today, prior to this time I either labelled them as not true friends or ingrates, but then I began to see life differently.
Friewndships are sustained by shared goals, allies, hobbies, enemies, pursuits, ambitions, interests, pains, hurt, discontent, fantasies, etc. The moment one or both persons move on from those shared things it takes a whole lot of conscious adjusting to do to remain such close friends and if this isn’t done we see the strength of our friendships wane. So instead of seeing former best friends in a bad light I now see them as a memoir of how I once thought, what I once liked, how I once dressed, things that were once my priority which I either attained or let go of. Not everybody forgot you it’s only natural you out grew some friendships so bigger, more meaningful and more purposeful ones come. So instead of feeling guilty or transferring guilt to the other party when i remember such friendships i put a call across, if not for anything for old times sake.
Live and let Live:
This one is very funny, It was one beautiful Sunday morning on my way to church. A man beckoned on me. I’ll turn and he’ll say, “Bros no vex o, abeg I work 2000 naira this week, how much be my tithe”. I’ll give him his answer in less than a second, for crying out loud that shouldn’t be a bother for a graduate engineer afterall 😂😉 “Na two hundred naira”. He’ll leave excited like a child whose tough homework was just answered. Through out the rest of the day inside me I’ll have a good laugh. For the records I believe Christians have a nature that freely parts with material things, especially money, but I don’t believe the believer is supposed to tithe, It became obsolete with the previous testament. It’s one subject I have spent hours debating on with friends, fellow believers.
Hence the shock at the man’s question. I’ll be like, “Holy Spirit what just happened?”. And his response was, “I’ve always told you, live and let Live, you won’t agree with everybody (Christian) on everything, as long as it doesn’t compromise your faith in Christ we can live with it”. It’ll be the beginning of series of conversations on how to live peaceably with people and most especially Christians with different stands on different issue respecting their contrary opinion without loving them any less.
I refused to kill myself:
My leadership style has always been one that hardly relied on others to get things done, I didn’t trust people enough to let go of stuff completely and let them handle it. The duties I eventually delegated were the ones i knew if anything went wrong I could quickly remedy the situation, While this worked for previous leadership positions it wasn’t going to work with the leadership positions I held in the past year.
Firstly every subset of what constituted my job description was just as important, so I realised I could get everything done myself, and die in the process or delegate duties to people and live, If anything, you can attest to the fact that I’m alive so it means I learnt how to delegate duties to people and be at rest, letting the competencies of my team mates work for me.
Applause is no validation:
On my birthday last year I got a call, It was on my way to church that beautiful Sunday. It was from a father figure, he spoke extensively on applause, people’s attention and cheering and about me being wary of it. I was like, “who gives someone this kind of birthday wish”. I didn’t take it seriously and at the same time didn’t take it lightly. A few months down the line and even now I can see the need for that counsel and how timely it was. I’ve had to believe, teach and start, a lot that didn’t line up with convention as it were.
In the process I’ve lost friends, see ties wane, generally had to go in paths with less company than I had imagined, I’ve seen the applause wane without it negatively affecting my resolve and enthusiasm. The validation of an instruction from God has outweighed the need for cheering from outside.
That’s it for this year’s episode, see you same time, same place next year. 😉😉