Dear men,
Are we better?
As a sequel to my most recent letter to women, on evaluating their impact in partnerships and friendships, I write this to the men.
I have always been bewildered by the story of Jesus cursing the fig tree. But as I grew older, I began to realise that at every stage of our growth and in every season of life, there is an expectation that we should contribute something of value to society.
In the literal ocean of things spiralling out of control in our existence, what can we point to as our contribution, aside from whining and complaining? Collectively, Are we better because you are alive?
I’ve asked previously if our wives better because they married us? Are our children better because we are raising them? Are our friends, colleagues, and communities better because our paths crossed?
I understand that life happens to us all. There are seasons when we are barely holding ourselves together, and sometimes, survival is an achievement in itself. But beyond survival, what are we building? What are we improving? Whose life are we making easier? You do not need to be wealthy to make a difference. Sometimes, it is the wisdom you share, the encouragement you offer, the responsibility you take, or the cycle of dysfunction you refuse to perpetuate. Sometimes, it is simply being a man whose word can be trusted.
We cannot keep demanding better from women, leaders, institutions, and society while refusing to examine our own contributions. Perhaps the question is not whether we have achieved everything we desire, but whether we are making the most of what we have and becoming better equipped to do more.
Potential is admirable, but fruit is evidence, beyond the things we complain about, what are we doing to make things better? When we are no longer here, will the people who encountered us have reasons to be grateful that we were?
I’ll write you next week, share this one after reading it twice.
JACK, Sogbeye
Gods man
