Chivalry and Feminism

Ever been on a date, and on arrival at the location of your date you (being female) wait for your date (being male) to hold the door open for you. Maybe he does and you like it, maybe he doesn’t and you do.

What is chivalry? Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is an informal, varying code of conduct developed between 1170 and 1220. It was associated with the medieval Christian institution of knighthood; knights’ and gentlemen’s behaviours were governed by chivalrous social codes. Even though it started as a sort of moral code or compass for knights of the early church to follow or live by it has evolved to mean most times how a man should treat a lady, especially one whom he fancies.

Don’t call me a feminist yet, I believe in equality for both men and women, putting into consideration that we may be different physically but we can be aspirationally equal. Let me break this down, what do I mean by this, if a boy should be made to go to school, so should a girl, if a girl is made to learn how to cook so should a boy, if a girl should be told if you don’t do things a certain way no man would want to marry you so should a boy.

Aspirationally, men and women should be able to accomplish anything they want and not be forced into any gender role defined boxes. It makes me happy when I see male nurses or female pilots, we need more of those in the world if you ask me.

So what does chivalry have to do with femininity? Let me add that femininity isn’t mutually exclusive from feminism, even though early feminists felt the need to move away from the norm so they would dress up in baggy clothes and not wear make up just to emphasize that women were more than just having a pretty appearance. The crux of being feminist however entails being able to be whatever it is you want, as long as it’s what you want.

Chivalry is dead is a term used by most people to mean that men don’t act as courteously as they used to maybe by holding doors open for women, offering a shivering woman your jacket, holding an umbrella for a woman when it’s raining and many other things.

Many people might take all these acts to mean that chivalry is the sworn enemy of feminism, cause it paints a woman out to be this helpless being that needs saving or protecting.

I think both preconceived notions are wrong, I would like to live in a world where everyone was chivalrous, both men and women. Yes, I said it, I want us to have chivalrous women. This would mean everyone was polite, everyone was courteous, everyone was just, generous and treated equally. It’s funny I should end my previous statement with the word “equal”, which is the bedrock for which feminism is built.

This world already has too many things dividing us, race, socio-economic status, height ๐Ÿ˜, how about for once we don’t look for another thing that is dividing us so we don’t have another battle of the sexes on our hands, instead let’s acknowledge that both things, by this I mean chivalry and feminism, actually have similarities, wouldn’t you want to live in a world that had humility, justice, courage, gratitude, generosity, discipline and most importantly EQUALITY.

I know I might have said I you shouldn’t call me feminist yet, at the beginning of this article, but right now I change my mind, I am a chivalrous feminist, even though I am not completely sure what that means right now I know i can be both.

-Eguono Ruth Ovie

20 thoughts on “Chivalry and Feminism

  1. Heeeeeeey God! MA Ruth I owe you one bottle of chiiiilled Pepsi!
    I’m smiling to bed right now. Thank you very much MA!!!

    1. Tochi, You’ve not given me a bottle of Chilled Pepsi since o. Is that how you used to do? ๐Ÿ˜‚. Thanks for always leaving a comment

  2. Hmmm. “Chivalrous feminist”, that’s a first๐Ÿ˜„!

    Feminism is a very hot topic these days. I agree with you that being kind, gentle, courteous shouldn’t be restricted to a particular gender.

    Refreshing read!

    1. The world would be so much better if we all treated ourselves with all a little bit of kindness ๐Ÿ˜Š
      Kachi thank you so much for stopping by

  3. “Chilvarious feminist”

    We do owe people. We owe people morals, manners, general decency and kindness.
    As important as our desire to be ambitiously equal to men we can’t afford to lose our humaneness.

    Its a very beautiful piece

  4. Africans take note! “if a girl should be told if you donโ€™t do things a certain way no man would want to marry you so should a boy.” Nice write up.. bravo!!

    1. Yes o, the key to having a better nation and in extension a better world is for us to bring up our children properly. Thank you for your comment

  5. Iโ€™m swoon. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š Your thought process and articulation of it is giving me mind-gasms.

    Seeing feminists that think like me just reinforces the fact that almost everyone against feminism is pro-inequality. Maybe now Iโ€™ll add chivalry to my feminism. ๐Ÿ˜˜

    1. Nelson i live to give mind gasms๐Ÿ˜€. I believe that most of those who are anti feminism are only knowledgeable about the most radicalized forms of it, because all feminism stands for is equality and i don’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to have a fair chance at everything. Thank you so much do your comment.

  6. I believe chivalry and femininity are similar. Everyone should embrace courteousness and gender equality.

    Nice write up Ruth.

  7. Hmmm I love the thought Chilvary Feminist. I also love and am in total agreement with this particular statement that if a girl should be told that if you donโ€™t do things a certain way no man would marry you so should a boy be told.

    Eguonu my Loveโ€ฆ Nice piece..

  8. This was a refreshing read, everyone should be courteous and kind irrespective of gender.
    I love the equal aspirations part too.

  9. This is an awesome piece, the world needs to read this, The hatred for men that is been pushed by this morden day feminist is alarming. I personally love the part where you said
    ” I believe in equality for both men and women, putting into consideration that we may be different physically but we can be aspirationally equal.”
    That’s exactly what most people are missing out from and are busy preaching hatred for me.

    Thank you Ruth.

  10. “As ye would that men do unto you, do ye so unto them”.
    If I love to be served a good meal by her, I should learn to prepare a good meal and be ready to serve her as well.
    You think he is a “gentleman” when he holds the door open for you, dear, you too can be a “gentle-lady”.

    Chivalrous Feminist……… I love this one.
    Thanks Jack for sharing.

  11. Whats up! I just want to give an enormous thumbs up for the good information you’ve gotten here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for extra soon.

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