Welcome to Lagos

So as a few of you know NYSC brought me to Lagos or did I bring myself? Long and short of the story is I found myself in Lagos. I had heard so much about the City, and I’m here now to experience things for myself.

I’ve had my preconceived notions about Lagos shattered in good ways and bad ways, this should help anyone who intends to come to Lagos decide if this Lagos is for him or if you should dey your dey where you dey. This is a treatise of the culture shock I experienced upon arrival at the Centre of excellence.

Lagosians can be orderly: E shock you abi? This could have been christened, “Lagosians are orderly” but I want to pick my words carefully so I don’t lie. It’s not every day and every time of the day, neither is it at every bus stop we are orderly, did I just use WE? ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ.

In my first month here, I was about boarding a keke on my way home one day and I saw people on a queue opposite me, I didn’t know what was going on until I tried boarding the next keke that came and I was shushed like some house fly, it was then I realised the guys on a queue opposite me weren’t standing in a wall defending a freekick, it was actually a queue in order of how people reached the bus stop and I humbled myself and joined the queue.
N/B. This happens usually in the evenings when people don’t have the strength to fight ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Fares can double faster than Usain Bolt: Again this heading should have read, Fares can triple or quadruple before you can say, Jack Robinson. “Ojuelegba, 300 hold your change o, if you no get change no enter”, on my way back from work the first day I heard the passenger administrator, Sorry I meant to say konductor, mutter the above words, and I was like, “I paid 100 the other day from here to Ojuelegba na”, but people were rushing in so I would not be caught sitting on a camel’s back.

Where I grew up, it was OK to see an additional 50 naira being charged when demand for vehicles greatly exceeds the supply, but tripling the price was so beyond me.

Lagosians rise early :

I’ve always been an early riser, from as far back as I can remember, for lack of the exact date I started waking up early, I can remember as far back as primary 1 through to final year in the University and even every day. Waking up at about 5: 30 am had been my usual.

So I do consider myself an early riser, but welcome to Lagos, where waking up 5: 30 am is waking up late. To be honest with you, I’m not sure when I wake up anymore but men and brethren, I leave the house at about 5: 30-6am. This is not only to beat the traffic but to get cheaper fares.

A good house in Lagos is a gift from God:

I grew up in a commercial city, arguably the economic capital of the Niger Delta. A lot of things are expensive in Port Harcourt, and I used to think house rent was one of them until I started house hunting in Lagos. Men and brethren, you won’t believe it, firstly you’ll have to deal with those wonderful people called house agents.

And yes, my use of the word, “wonderful” here is totally sarcastic. Some would have you pay a token, in the range of 2 to 5 thousand naira first, before even taking you on a tour of the available properties which you may not like, Some may stop picking your calls the day after if your taste is high compared to the properties they and those in their network have for rent.

Now, let’s assume you finally see the one you like, You will realise that in addition to the house rent which can be overly pricey depending on where you want to stay, one would have to pay from 30 to 50 per cent of the pricey rent, first for agreement and then agency fee, that’s if you’re not asked to register again for 5k. Na wa o!

P.S This is if you don’t find a landlord that insists on collecting two year’s or at least one and half year’s rent at once๐Ÿ˜

My advice, go along with a third wheel to see the property, preferably one who has been in Lagos longer than you. A desperate prospective tenant and an agent desperate for a commission can be the perfect recipe for a decision you’ll regret at least for the next year.

The rain-traffic relationship :
“The relationship between rainfall and traffic congestion in Nigeria, with Lagos State as a case study”
To my friends in the academia, this looks like a perfect project topic for those in transport engineering at any level, you can thank me later, or like I usually say, you can name your child after me.

The traffic congestion three minutes of rainfall can cause will blow your mind; bad roads, heavy-duty vehicles and impatient drivers and commuters too numerous to number, all play their part in making sure the slightest downpour, which definitely isn’t few and far between, leads to hours of blaring can horns and little to no vehicular movement for a while.
You would be better off assuming this can happen to you anytime so ensure your devices are as charged as can be so boredom doesn’t kill you.

Lagos has fun spots:
From the best beaches and resorts to cinemas, malls, awesome restaurants and bukkas and even a few parties I’ve walked passed, where all they needed was alcohol, and an autombile with a loud sound system๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. You can’t take this one away from Lagosians they know how to have fun and there are a plethora of options to visit to do so.

The list is endless, but with these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince and not confuse you, on whether Lagos is for you or you should dey your dey where you dey. Thank you.

27 thoughts on “Welcome to Lagos

  1. Good morning and a new WEEK.

    I love this write up.
    Eco oni baje.

    I enjoyed this particular read.
    Thanks for your account on Lagos n it’s related issues. God bless you.

  2. This time around your write up has a new toneโ€ฆ Hmmmโ€ฆ Perhaps youโ€™re writing under the atmosphere ofโ€ฆ..

    Anyways Iโ€™ll see into the matter of naming my child after uโ€ฆ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

  3. I relate totally Lol, especially for the fact that I’ve also lived in Portharcourt all my life. First time I visited Lagos was in 2014. One thing I remember then was waking up by 4am with my brother to attend his induction somewhere in Alausa by 9pm๐Ÿ™„. Second time I visited was in 2018 with the aim of securing an internship/job and work my service year down there but didn’t pull through. I spent three months then and it was a cruise. Last month I visited Lagos again for an interview. Personally I can’t imagine the stress of Lagos, but for my career I can literally do anything. Any Nigerian who hasn’t been to Lagos hasn’t truly lived and his citizenship is questionable. Lol.

    Nice piece by the way.

  4. You nailed it!!

    This write up is a must-read for anyone planning to move to Lagos, especially for service year. The traffic and early morning rising almost drove me away in my first year here. But safe to say, Lagos is a good city.

    Eko oni baje!!

  5. Good read
    I love that part โ€œfares can triple or quadruple faster before you can say Jack Sogbeyeโ€ in Mr. Afolabiโ€™s voice.
    I never wanted to stop reading this piece. Keep it up

  6. Lagos is definitely not for me๐Ÿ˜’ , a place to visit for the fun activities yes!! But not to reside permanently , no way!! ๐Ÿ˜‚. Now know that I have crossed out Lagos when it comes to living . Thank you

  7. I’ve heard a lot about Lagos and hope to visit for the sake of experiencing the life of Lagosians. Nice piece. Keep up the good work!

  8. Nice piece bro!
    Lagos, to an extent defines Naija and it citizens.Your mentality and perspective towards life is altered from the very moment you set your foot on that special soil… No jokes when they say “shine your eye” cos your chances of being a victim of one prank or the other the next minute, is so high!. You cling unto your phone once you are leaving the four walls of your house like your life depends on it cos as already expected,the next person standing or sitting next to you, is a primary suspect! haba!!… to cut the long story short,
    …..I hear nwin!

  9. Nice one. I came into Lagos few days before I read this and your write- up is nothing far from the truth. Thanks for sharing. ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿค“

  10. This is beautiful
    Indeed something to ponder on before making conclusions on residing in Lagos
    Thank you Sir Jacque

  11. Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog article or vice-versa? My website addresses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!|

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