Dear Men,
Being the Man everyone Likes is dangerous
There is a difference between being a good man and being a man everyone likes. Unfortunately, many men spend their lives pursuing the latter while convincing themselves they are doing the former.
We all want to be appreciated, accepted and spoken well of. There is nothing wrong with that. But when the need for approval begins to determine our decisions, people pleasing quietly becomes the architect of our character.
We say yes when we should say no. We tolerate what we should confront. We remain silent when we should speak. Sometimes, we even compromise our faith, principles and convictions because we are afraid of disappointing someone.
Life becomes a performance. We keep showing up where the applause is loudest and withdraw when it begins to fade, rarely stopping to ask whether we are even performing for the right audience.
And we call it being a good man.
But is it goodness when your kindness requires dishonesty with yourself and your convictions? Is it peacekeeping when the price of that peace is resentment quietly accumulating within you?
Even Christ, while embodying love perfectly, was not universally liked. He challenged expectations, spoke uncomfortable truths and refused to allow public opinion to determine His purpose. His commitment was to the Father’s will, not public approval.
You cannot make everyone’s approval the price of your integrity.
Some people will misunderstand your boundaries. Others may resent your refusal to participate in what you believe is wrong. That does not automatically make you right. A good man must remain humble enough to accept correction when he is wrong and courageous enough to stand when he is right.
Remember this: disappointing someone is not always the same as failing them.
Be kind, but do not become spineless.
Be humble, but do not become voiceless.
Be considerate, but never allow the fear of rejection to become the architect of your character.
Because a man who needs to be liked by everyone will eventually struggle to stand for anything.
And when doing right costs you someone’s approval, may you have the courage to do right anyway.
I’ll write you next week, Think on these things.
JACK, Sogbeye
God’s Man.
