Moving on

Loss, Departure, Absence.
Which ever way you want to describe the fact that someone was here one day and gone the next, here a week ago and not here the next, more often than not it’s unexpected, unplanned, No signs, no hints, no premonitions. Life just springs a surprise on you. Making us contemplate hating and/or denying the reality and holding on to our memory of the way things were as the truth.

It’s been 5 years since I lost the biggest thing I’ve lost till this moment, It’s a person actually. I used to pride myself in having moved on from that loss but turns out It was a farce. It was her birthday anniversary some months ago, and I was typing a tribute on my keypad and I found out they were wet, I was crying. It was funny, I don’t cry, I’m strong, I thought they said tears were for the weak? Why was I crying? I’ll just breakdown and cry some more. I made me realise Moving on is an illusion.

Don’t deny it
Sometimes what parades itself as ‘moving on’ is actually denial, We’ve lied to ourselves either that the hurt didn’t exist or that the void wasn’t that deep. One of The best ways to come to terms with loss is to find out how much exactly was lost. Behaving like nothing was lost is counterproductive in the long run.

Accept it
Your loss might not have been God’s will but we’ve got to accept it. I’ve realised that life sees us as strong enough to bear the things it throws at us. I feel i should tell you that, “You’re strong enough to bear it”. You’re strong like that.

Cry if you wanna, Let it go
Allow me repeat for the Umpteenth time, Moving on is over rated, Its still ok to cry. I’ve seen people think they’ve moved on from sad experiences just because time has passed, only to breakdown when same memories are relived. I feel in today’s world Crying is underated, we have a bunch of broken people claiming to be strong, without knowing that it’s great strength to admit weakness. Tears are a stream that wash sorrows away, and allow us see clearer. Crying is not only healthy, It’s legal and helpful.

Some wounds heal without a trace, some others leave scars that won’t go. While making sure we don’t pattern our lives after these losses, we’ll definitely have to live with them, accept them as a part of God’s big plan for our life, embracing them as part of our story. Though a sad part it may seem, But it’s part of the entire plot. It takes great strength to admit to weakness, Cry if you feel like it. Don’t be ashamed for not moving on, DON’T!!!

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